It’s very fitting that the episode of The Office about safety training ends with Michael on the roof.
Safety training is both very depressing and full of bad ideas that sound kind of fun.
At my library, we take an annual safety training for the office environment, which is hilarious because office safety is, essentially, basic human safety. Maybe don’t leave things all over the goddamn floor so you can trip on them. Maybe if an electrical cord has the sheathing removed and there are exposed wires and it’s sparking periodically—maybe this is something you should address.
It rides a line. On one hand, I suppose that if you didn’t know super basic things, it’d be good to learn them. On the other hand, the training is SO basic as to make me question how someone could survive to working age, make their way to the workplace, and fire up a computer without being killed.
It’s maybe a half-step above, “As you go through this training, do not forget to breathe, first in, then out, repeatedly for the duration of the module.”
The design of our particular office safety training is gorgeous. A few examples:
In this section, I’m asked to answer which of six listed injury types is the MOST common type of office injury. Note that some options are bolded, seemingly at random, and that the only way to select an option is to click the tiny letter to the left, not the word itself or anywhere on the horizontal row the answers would be in, you must click the small square AND ONLY THE SMALL SQUARE.
What’s funniest about this, though, is that not since Mr. O’Brian, an English teacher at my high school, quizzed kids about the specific weights of items in The Things They Carried, has someone missed the point so badly and instead just wanted to make sure you read something. The meaning or comprehension doesn’t matter, let’s just go with rote memorization!
Did Tim O’Brien [I’m just realizing how confusing this is that the English teacher AND the author are both named O’Brian/O’Brien, and a more talented writer would probably just change the teacher’s name to Smith for the sake of reading ease, but I ALSO had an English teacher named Smith, so this is just getting WAY too confusing] list the weights of all those items to give high school English teachers a way to test their students, or was it, perhaps, more about a metaphor, the metaphor IN THE TITLE OF THE BOOK!?
Why would it matter which of these six injury types is the MOST common? Should I be holding this list in my brain, and whenever I’m at work, be constantly vigilant for all, but to slightly different degrees? Does it help me know that I should worry about hazardous chemicals less than fires?
And what about a slip, trip or fall that results in a back injury? Is that a slip, or is it a back injury? I know that’s pedantic, but I’m a librarian, I categorize things. This is what I do.
Regardless, I think we can all agree that hazardous chemicals falling all over you is not really a safety issue. Yes, the new superpowers you gain WILL force you to take on a life of crimefighting for which you may or may not be physically and emotionally prepared, but being able to climb up walls seems totally worth it.
Not only does this question present a simple piece of information as a double-negative, the correct answer is False, making it the rare TRIPLE negative.
Why would you make this so complicated?
I’m also confused about the point we’re making here: Are employers not covered under OSHA, therefore the statement is false? Are they covered under OSHA, but that doesn’t mean they can just toss safety aside? Are safety issues not covered under OSHA? What does “covered” mean? Why would it matter to me whether the company is insured through OSHA? Is this question meant only for our HR manager?
Also, shouldn’t we be focused on safety, which is the PREVENTION of injury, as opposed to the legal processes that follow? We’ve got a limited time here, people, let’s not waste it on the details of who is going to sign the check when a huge pile of books falls on me and I die a death some call poetic, especially as it was the 811 Dewey section that fell on me, but that I call horrific because A) I died, and B) Being crushed by lots of objects is pretty terrible, even if the objects themselves are not terrible.
This is just poorly designed. Notice how the caption under the picture runs RIGHT UP AGAINST the regular text. Why would you do that? Who looked at this and was like, Eh, good enough?
Also, whose fucking library is that with those white walls, residential door, and tile floors? Is it The Georgia O’Keefe Library?
By the way, I think 90% of the used bookstores I’ve visited in my life have at least 5 of these hazards present at any given time. It’s kind of their brand. Materials in aisles? Well, where are they supposed to put materials, if not in aisles? On some kind of vertical storage contraption? Ha, that’ll be the day…
Before you ask, I have no idea what the grey bar with the quotes at the bottom is supposed to be. I’ve got no clue what’s supposed to be in there. “Ouch, my back!”? I’m not even sure that anything is supposed to be in there or if this is just some weird coding error.
The most likely reason for my next injury is straining too hard to figure out why that damn grey box is there.
The question “Am I trying to impress anyone by lifting this?” is hilarious. I can’t think of an environment where minor feats of strength are less appreciated than in a library. You’re not working on the beach, kicking sand in some nerd’s face so that girls will like you more, you’re working in a building where huge dorks take pride in knowing dorky things. In fact, if you are a sand-in-the-face-kicker, and you’re reading this in a library, RUN! You’re in danger! You’ve unwittingly entered the den of your natural enemy! They may try to trick you by asking you to pick up something heavy so that you injure yourself and even the playing field, don’t fall for it!
I shit on this training, and it’s not because I think safety is stupid, it’s because this is a very CYA version of training, which really only serves to cover the organization if someone gets hurt as opposed to actually helping employees avoid accidents and injuries.
Which sucks because accidents and injuries really suck. You DON’T want to get injured on the job. Even if your workplace has very generous ideas about helping you get healthy again and taking time off, you’re still going to live some time in pain, and it’s almost always avoidable.
So here are my top tips for library staff when it comes to safety:
Before you lift anything more than a couple pounds, stop, take a deep breath, and think about what you’re doing. It’s easy to just bend over and yank a heavy bin off the floor, and you’ll save yourself a lot of pain if you just consider a lift before you execute it.
Don’t wear impractical shoes no matter how cute they may be. Things may fall on your feet or roll over them. Floors might be slippery sometimes. Impractical footwear is not your friend, no matter what wonders it may work for your appearance. I could do a scared straight on this one. “You see this toe with half a toenail!? That’s right, I busted this toe A YEAR AGO!? Do you want to live a year with a hideous toe!? I don’t think so!?”
When there is no danger, remove signs that indicate danger. When floors aren’t wet, put away wet floor signs. Reduce signage as much as possible. These items only work when they are flags, when they’re obviously not supposed to be there all the time. When you leave a CAUTION sign somewhere unnecessary, that kind of sign becomes part of the background and loses its effectiveness.
I know there are lots of opinions about calling the police out there, and I know lots of us are hesitant to do so, but when someone is threatening the physical safety of you or anyone else in the library, they have made the decision for you.
On a similar note, do not hesitate to call EMS because of the costs associated. If someone is unconscious or unresponsive, your priority is their physical safety. If someone is injured and is able to find an alternative way to get to an ER or urgent care, they can turn down the ambulance services. EMS will try pretty hard to convince someone to take the ride, but it’s ultimately the individual’s choice. If they are unable to turn down EMS, you have no way of knowing how serious the situation is.
You should take any legitimate safety training available, and this should include things like the use of an AED if your library has one. Don’t listen when people tell you it’s super easy, it does everything for you. This is NOT true, and it’s to everyone’s benefit if you’re not using it for the first time in an emergency. First aid training is a great resource, and it’s a great way to get information about what good samaritan laws are like in your area (these laws may protect you if you were trying to assist someone in need and were accused of doing harm), and it’s a helpful method of figuring out when you’re in over your head and it might be better to do very little and wait for the pros to arrive.
Make sure your safety supplies are stocked up and clearly labeled, and make sure they are relevant to the kinds of injuries you’re likely to see. Do you have what you need to clean up blood? Do you have needle disposal, and is it emptied long before it fills up?
On that same note, edit your first aid kit. You’re in a library, not on the Pacific Crest Trail, several miles of walking from medical attention. Remove first aid supplies that you don’t need. A lot of libraries have one of those one-size-fits-all first aid kits, and it’s packed with stuff that just gets in the way in an emergency. A library shouldn’t need splints (how much do you know about splinting a joint?), blankets (if someone is getting cold because of blood loss, why haven’t you called EMS yet!?), eye pads. Moleskin is great for a lot of things, but it’s not an emergency supply. If you’re busting out those scissors to cut off someone’s clothing or a bandage in order to access a wound, you are in over your head. If you’re attempting to irrigate a wound with a syringe full of water, you’ve seen too much Grey’s Anatomy and need to chill. Just remove any items that your staff cannot or should not be using. This makes it easier to access the items you need when the time comes, and it helps make it apparent when you’re running low on something you use frequently.
NEVER give another person any kind of medication, topical or ingestible, even something gentle like an OTC headache medication or topical antibiotic. I would remove all of these items from your first aid kit. If you open your kit in front of a patron, and they see those items, they may request them. The one and only exception I would make to this rule is naloxone (Narcan). Tylenol and Tums may have a place in the office, and I think that place is outside the first aid kit, and instead with items like coffee, tea, and anything else you might provide to make your staff’s days more pleasant.
For the love of all that is holy: DO NOT COME INTO WORK WHEN YOU ARE SICK. My god, did we learn nothing from 2020-2022? By the way, if I can tell that you are sick, you are still sick, and you are still contagious. There is not some magic period where you feel like garbage, but the virus is contained inside your body somehow and not spreading to everyone else you work with. If you’re having symptoms, you’re contagious. Stay home. We waste so much sick time that could be used better if people would just stay home when they’re sick. On the supervisor end of this: make it easy for your staff to take sick days. Look, when you make it tough on your staff, the people who abuse the system will continue to do so, and only the conscientious employees will suffer. When an employee calls in sick, suggest that you’ll plan on them being sick for the next couple of days unless you hear otherwise. Don’t make them call in each morning.
2. Work shoes are work shoes. Most library workers get more flexibility than other kinds of workers RE shoes, but a decent pair of shoes will prevent lots of long-term issues in addition to short-term safety problems.
6. I had a training on a AED machine at my work. It's not hard to use, but the first time someone uses it shouldn't be when someone is having a heart attack. If you wouldn't spend a day at work in shoes you've never worn (see #2), would you use a powerful electronic device on someone who might be dying without practicing with it?
8. I agree except for the blankets in cold-weather places. The blanket isn't going to revive someone, but it can help a bit while help arrives if someone is in real danger. The blanket isn't a treatment but something that helps keep someone alive or conscious a little longer. Like the AED machine, the blanket's purpose is to keep someone going long enough for EMS to arrive rather than bringing them back to health.