The library where I work has adopted a “Service Animals Only” policy a little bit back, and…I’m into it.
Allow me to explain why this whole dogpile of a mess is your own fault. Because if there’s one thing I’ve found, it’s that smack-talking dogs online is the shortest path to being VERY unpopular, so I might as well blame you for it as well and be SUPER MEGA unpopular.
I fully expect this one to make some folks unhappy, but please understand: I am not talking about YOUR dog. I am talking about DOGS. In general. In aggregate.
I’m sure your dog is a perfect angel who has never and will never do anything wrong and deserves all the best.
First Off
Listen, assholes who try and trick everyone else into thinking that your dog is a service dog by ordering a vest off of Amazon: you’re not fooling anyone. We can still see the dog under the vest while it’s yanking on the lead, jumping up on people, barking nonstop, and doing all sorts of nonsense that would, if I could provide a “service rating” to a dog, get a 1-star, “Stay far away” rating.
And we always know who you are because when we ask you the sanctioned questions, you always say: You can’t ask me that!
Yes, we can.
And we will. Believe me, when your dog shits in the storytime circle, these questions are a-comin’ (by the by, even a trained, qualified service animal can be asked to leave the building if the animal is out of control or not housebroken).
Here are the questions we can ask you, and I put these here not so you’re better prepared to lie, but so you understand what a service animal is:
Is the dog a service animal required because of a disability?
What work or task has the dog been trained to perform?
This second question is super important because of…
Emotional Support Animals
From the ADA website:
Q3. Are emotional support, therapy, comfort, or companion animals considered service animals under the ADA?
A. No. These terms are used to describe animals that provide comfort just by being with a person. Because they have not been trained to perform a specific job or task, they do not qualify as service animals under the ADA. However, some State or local governments have laws that allow people to take emotional support animals into public places. You may check with your State and local government agencies to find out about these laws.
Some people are comforted by carrying a gun, and that doesn’t mean…well, okay, that’s a bad example here in Colorado. Yikes.
Some people are comforted by smoking. Calms the nerves, right? That doesn’t mean ADA provides you the right to smoke inside a building.
Some people are comforted by booze. God knows I am. My amber friend, my confidant in a glass. You never judge me, sweet, sweet booze…
Sorry, I trailed off there.
There ARE animals who are ADA-approved as psychiatric service animals:
If the dog has been trained to sense that an anxiety attack is about to happen and take a specific action to help avoid the attack or lessen its impact, that would qualify as a service animal. However, if the dog’s mere presence provides comfort, that would not be considered a service animal under the ADA.
And these are animals that are often paired with veterans and people with PTSD-type conditions, so you can calm down with that point as well, alright? We aren’t wronging our veterans by asking you to take your dog outside.
Why Faking a Service Dog Is a Real Dick Move
It’s not your terrible attitude or ill-informed ideas about your medical privacy that bother me. It’s the way you’re hiding behind laws and allowances meant to help people who are in genuine need.
If we didn’t have people bringing their untrained buddy dogs in all the time, we wouldn’t need to ask ANYONE those questions, we could just assume that anyone with a service animal needed that service animal to navigate the world, we could leave them alone, and all would be good.
Even if the animal seemed to be having a rough time in the library, we could safely say, “You know, I’m going to err on the side of saying this person wouldn’t bring their dog if it wasn’t the right thing to do.”
Unfortunately, because people insist on being people, we can’t have nice things.
So please, just consider that when you’re bringing your non-service animal into a situation where only service animals are permitted, you’re making life harder for someone who already doesn’t have it super easy, hence the service animal. You’re adding one more small conflict to a day that is not devoid of conflict.
Let me reiterate: YOU are doing that. I’m not doing it by asking the questions, the person with the legit service animal isn’t doing it. YOU are.
The Two Dog Owners
Let’s move on and talk a bit about people who aren’t trying to trick anyone, people who just like having their dogs around and would like to bring them in the library.
There are basically two kinds of people who bring their dogs everywhere.
One is the kind of person who genuinely has a very sweet, calm dog. Not only does this dog never display aggressive behavior, this dog doesn’t jump up on people, doesn’t eat available food off of a table. This is a dog that is so well-behaved that you might not even notice it’s there, dozing under a table.
This dog owner usually has worked hard to train this dog, but also recognizes that the dog is a rare gem. This dog owner, if they later have a different dog, or maybe even have multiple dogs at the same time, won’t necessarily try to bring every dog they own everywhere. They understand that not every dog is an indoor dog, or even a patio dog. Some dogs are maniacs who can’t keep it together. Lovable maniacs, but maniacs nonetheless.
The other kind of dog owner who brings a dog everywhere is a dolt who doesn’t realize how annoying, badly-behaved, and sometimes dangerous their dog is. If their dog displays any bad behavior, it’s always a case of, “Wow, he NEVER does that.” This person BELIEVES their dog can do no wrong, therefore is incapable of noticing that their dog is not all that well-behaved.
This is why lots of places have a problem allowing dogs, and, again, why it’s not our fault, it’s YOUR fault: We can’t trust dog owners to make good decisions on behalf of their dogs.
The Third Dog Owner
Yes, there’s a third dog owner that we need to address in the library setting. I know I said there were two, but this third guy just popped out from the shadows.
The third dog owner is someone who doesn’t have a home at the moment, or doesn’t have a place to be during the day, but DOES have a dog.
Bringing their dog everywhere isn’t much of a choice for them (although it’s not necessarily true that everyone who is homeless does not have friends or relatives who can care for an animal).
I have sympathy for this position, I really do. But I have to say, libraries are not equipped to be for-real human shelters, and most shelters will not allow pets. I don’t see good coming from the library providing services above and beyond organizations that are specifically designed to assist folks who are homeless.
By the by, some shelters are starting to figure out how to accommodate pets in order to prevent people from making a choice between their companion and sleeping indoors. These accommodations often involve a kennel area in the shelter, and the animal will sleep in a cage overnight. And while I think this is a good idea, opening a dog kennel in the library is nowhere near the first move libraries can or should make to assist people in need.
Lowes Depot
It’s my recollection that hardware stores were the first to allow all dogs in, following the precedent of heaven, where all dogs go.
I’m not the hugest fan of this because it’s not an awesome place for a dog who may be underfoot, and there’s A LOT of shit in a hardware store that should not be in a dog’s mouth for any amount of time. I think the loud, echo-y space can also be a little disconcerting for some dogs.
Again, I’m not the most trusting of owners making good decisions for their dogs.
But, hey, it’s their choice, so let’s look at why this isn’t as rough an option for these stores as it is for a library:
They have a polished concrete floor that’s easy to clean, as opposed to carpet.
It’s easy access to industrial cleaning supplies.
It’s not like someone’s in Home Depot for super extended periods unless they are young couples who spend about a third of every weekend in the Home Depot garden center because they’re always one purchase away from true happiness, they just know it.
It’s a massive space, so the allergy thing isn’t as big a deal.
It’s nobody’s expectation that Lowe’s will be a peaceful, quiet place.
I don’t expect to find any easily-stained or damaged soft seating in Home Depot.
Nobody is just chilling in one spot in a hardware store for an hour.
There isn’t the same expectation in ANY part of Home Depot that it’s safe for a small child to wander solo the way there is in the library.
With all the activity and loading and unloading outside, it’s probably not the safest place for a dog to be tied up near the entrance.
Basically, when you have a big warehouse that people spend, I’m guessing, about 30 minutes inside of on the long end, I think you can get away with allowing dogs without much problem.
Why Do So Many Places Allow Dogs If It’s a Problem?
My honest guess is that a Wal-Mart, for example, has probably experienced so many issues with trying to stop dog OWNERS that the issues they experience with dogs are lesser. So their official policy is to not allow pets, but in practice, you see a whole lotta pets wandering the aisles, searching for $2 dollar DVDs of Con Air in that stupid bin.
We saw this a lot during mask mandate periods. Our reported incident numbers were way up because we often had to ask people to wear masks, and that was not a popular thing to do (even though the staff was compelled to do it by the state, a lot of people were very hostile, I guess because it’s easy to shout at an inadequately-paid library employee just doing their job, so why not take out your aggression there…?). At some point, things were getting so heated that it was decided that the risks presented by the increased number of altercations outweighed the risks of getting COVID, and staff was instructed to just leave people alone if they came in maskless, even though the state mandate was still in effect.
Not a fun time that left me with a lot of love for the world, I’ll tell you that.
This is…let’s see, the THIRD(?) prong on the “It’s your own fault” pitchfork I’m forging here.
If you all could take it a little easy and just do what you’re asked, provided what you’re being asked is as reasonable as a lady who has been doing storytime for your kids for 5 years politely asking you to abide by a state mandate, or when that same person kindly requests you leave your dog outside—maybe if most of you didn’t flip the fuck out over that stuff like it’s a personal offense, the world would be a bit better.
My Library, My Dog Park
I want us all to consider what the library offers a doggo.
…
…
Nothing, right? There’s nothing inside of library that would interest, entice, or please a dog, except for possibly you, the dog’s buddy.
Libraries are not designed for dogs. They are not built to please them, to stimulate them, or to accommodate them.
I hear the cries of “it’s good socialization,” but I don’t see the library as being better socialization than any other place in which dogs ARE permitted. Why would a dog benefit more from a library than from Lowes? Or a dog park?
I encourage you to really ask yourself: Am I bringing my dog into the library because my dog wants to be there, or am I bringing my dog inside because I want my dog to be there?
And this, to me, is the core of dog ownership.
You, as the owner, need to make good decisions for your buddy. That often means NOT taking your dog to places they can’t handle, and I think it can also mean NOT taking your dog to places that are, at best, boring for your dog.
My Experiences With Doggos
In Colorado, having a beer on a patio is something that’s probably 6 months away from being added to the state flag. It’s that much of a THING.
And lots of people want to bring their dogs with them while they do it.
I get it. You see the dog at the patio who’s cool, who’s behaved, and you’re like, “I want that to be my and my dog.”
A LOT of people are forcing it. They bring their dogs, and their dogs are NOT that dog. They lunge, they are aggressive with other dogs, they bark constantly, which is not super fun when you’re just there on a patio.
I love dogs, I think they’re fun and cute and have good intentions almost all the time.
But you, dog owners, have rammed that three-prong pitchfork made by your own faults into the backs of too many people too many times.
If You Want Dogs to Be Allowed In Your Library
I don’t like to leave newsletters without alternatives or options, so here we go.
To be honest, I think you should reexamine your desire first, keeping in mind that it’s not going to be your specific dog allowed in, but ALL dogs.
I might try something like “Every Dog Has Its Day,” a monthly dog-allowing day at your library. If this works, you could try it weekly, maybe every Sunday, dogs are permitted. This gives your community the chance to try it out and see whether it works, and it gives people who don’t want to be around dogs the opportunity to avoid them.
Lots of our libraries do a “Paws to Read” program where trained therapy dogs are brought in, and kids can read to them. I think this is a great way to bring dogs into the library. You could even expand this to a system where someone would be able to “check out” a dog for an hour and hang out with them in the library. This way, the library can have a screening process in place that only allows dogs who are well-behaved.
If you want dogs to be allowed because of the “Third Type” owner discussed above, I would ask you instead to work on your area’s welfare system to either create an option for dogs to be cared for in human shelters or a system that provides for animal welfare organizations to have temporary care or fostering for pets whose owners don’t have homes. Address the problem in a sustainable, realistic way instead of applying a band-aid.
Nailed it! Great article.